Football Game

Today was the last day of the football league (yes, I still persist in the quaint habit of calling the game football). Officially, its the soccer league. Well, sonny’s team drew the game, which wasn’t surprising, though they could have won, but that’s not the point, given that it was a friendly game. Besides, that’s not what I am writing about.

Today, there was a parents’ match. Now, given that I am on top of the fitness scale, finding a position for me to play at was a dilemma. But with my penchant for genious, I quickly found the best position for me to play at … Goalkeeper. Stated objective: role model for son, so he can watch papa goalkeeping, learn the things not to do, and so on … Hidden agenda: play so that I don’t get acquainted with muscles and joints I didn’t even know existed. Well, son was playing another match on the next pitch, and whatever little he could see me, he clearly wasn’t impressed.

Coming back to the game … Two coaches were playing on the other team. Well, its clear what that means. Our team played valiantly, and we almost scored a couple of times. Me, on my part, valiantly saved some five goals. Translated, that means I saved two goals, and attentively saw three shots whizzing past me, the ball in a blur. And then it happened … Handball in the D. Penalty. I was prepared for it. I was sure he (no moms played … They had too much make-up on, and dresses too glamorous for football) would hit ball in one of the corners of the goal (we were playing with a hockey goal, which as you know is less than half the size of the football goal), but I had the corners covered, and was sure I would be able to save it. Surprise … He took a straight, low shot, which just went through between the legs. I tried valiantly to save it, but it was rendered geometrically difficult by the little paunch I have only lately been sporting. And while on the subject of paunches, I am sure you would have heard of headers, but have you heard of paunchers? Well, I saw one today. Quite effective it was, because everybody was expecting a heade. Final scoreline … 1-0, though that’s only part of the story.

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